Why Hiking is a Terrible [First] Date Idea

One of my complaints about howaboutwe is that more than half of the dates are hiking or running or biking a 10k.  Fine, I am not the world's most active person (I like my wii fit though!), so maybe this is part of the reason I'm so anti-workout for a date.  But there are several good reasons not to do some of these for a date, especially as a first date.


Hiking is actually a huge commitment.  If you're meeting someone for drinks, and it's not going well, you can excuse yourself with something.  You can have 1 drink and leave.  There's no minimum (beyond politely finishing the drink) on a happy hour or coffee date.  If you choose to hike for a first date, however, you're probably locked down to at least a few hours together, most likely more.  If you're hiking out in the woods or mountains somewhere, and you realize this is the worst date of your life, where are you going to go?  You can't be all, "Oh, see you later," and go back down the hill by yourself.  You could fall or meet a bear or stumble into the Blair Witch's house.  Nope, you have to suck it up and finish out that 5 mile mountain loop.  And because you're in the middle of nowhere, your cellphone probably won't work, so that "emergency" phone call you planned with your roommate in case the date was horrible won't be coming through.


Now that a hiking date is out of the question, you think, "Okay, I still would like to do something active, but non-committal.  I know, let's go for a run."  Again, this is a first date.  How are you supposed to get to know each other if you're running or exercising?  You can't.  And to combat this, some people try to add more activities - which turns into a super committed first date:

He might not mean to sound all committed, but again, first date with someone you've never met and barely spoken with.  To me, this says everything's going to be planned out and move way too quickly in terms of being relationship-y.  (Of course, my commitment issues may be clouding my judgement.)  Of course, if a date is going well, drinks can extend to a walk or another bar, which I'm all for.  And once you've met someone a few times, by all means, plan it up.  I'm just not comfortable with that much pressure of getting through all those activities on a first date.

First dates are all about presenting yourself in the best way possible.  Unless you're this guy, you're going to look terrible while running.

If you run looking like this, by all means, schedule a running date

Maybe you'll argue that since the other person is running, they won't notice if you look bad.  Well, what happens at the end of a run?  You're all sweaty.  You probably never even had any makeup on, and any you had has sweated off.  Save some of that mystery for the second date.  Plus, all those endorphins might trick you into thinking you like someone when you don't.  Disaster, chaos, and heartbreak will ensue.

Let's also consider that this is the middle of summer in an extremely humid climate - the forecast for today is in the triple digits, and it'll be insanely hot for awhile.  (Or to quote Kevin Malone, "Angela, it is a million degrees.")  Hearing about the weather, then seeing this suggestion, is terrifying:

Also, come on, a hiking first date?  Someone's planning to murder someone else in that situation.  You know one of you is thinking it.

The BEST Dating Advice I've Ever Gotten

This post is dedicated to my friend Weibs[ies], to whom I will be forever grateful for his excellent advice.  Senior year of college, I went to Weibs for some guy advice.  I wasn't sure if a guy I was spending time with, and occasionally hooking up with, was actually interested, or if he just wanted to keep things casual.

We were drinking at the Hunt Club, and Weibs told me the single greatest piece of dating advice I have ever, and likely will ever, receive: if a guy is interested, he will let you know.  It took a little while to sink in, and I wanted to argue with it, but once I embraced the truth of it, it made my life so much easier.

I stopped torturing myself with possible (though unlikely) scenarios.  I stopped making excuses for guys.  It made for a much more relaxed mindset when it came to dating.  This isn't to say I stopped indicating interest to guys or would never make the first move, but beyond that, I let the guy handle it.

Girls tell themselves, "Oh, he's just shy," and push and prod a guy who doesn't show interest.  We ask our friends the best way to deal with a shy male and come up with ways to "accidentally" cross paths.  Yes, a guy can be shy, but if he likes you, he'll find a way to ask you out.  If he's truly that shy, do you want to chase him that hard and deal with all that?  I don't see how it's worth it.

Once you accept Weibs's great advice, your life becomes far less complicated.  No more wondering, no more guessing, no more desperate texts/calls/e-mails, no more "accidental" run-ins, no more grilling your mutual friends, and no more sobbing to any mutual friends.  (Or acquaintances, for that matter).  It is incredibly freeing.

Ladies, I know it will seem weird at first, but please remember what I am going to dub the Weibs Principle.  I cannot stress how much easier it will make your life.  And allow for wayyy less heartbreak.

How About We

After telling me for years that I needed to blog the crazy customers/adventures of the driving range, Liv has now requested I blog about the hilarity and absurdness of online dating.


After seeing this "date suggestion," I have decided to take her up on it.

What intrigues me: were the boxers on purpose, or accidental? This will keep me awake tonight.

Oh nevermind, I know who Liv would want me to choose:

How it reminds me of good times at the Pirate House!

In all seriousness, I am using howaboutwe.com (someecards.com's dating site!) this summer to meet people, have fun, and enjoy my youth.  I like the format because it's all about minimal online contact and meeting people offline.  Yes, it can feel awkward, but it's been fun so far.  I had a lunch date this week where we got margaritas and Mexican food, then hung out at the American Art Museum.  I almost felt like I was back at the Dale - he held doors, pulled out my chair - stuff I've missed since moving to the East Coast.  I would say the first 10 minutes were pretty weird because we knew almost nothing about each other, but after the initial weirdness, it was okay.  And it didn't feel too date-y, which was actually pretty nice.  I don't ever want that to feel forced or something.  howaboutwe stresses casualness and seeing how things go, which works for me right now.  People's personalities can't be read in an online profile or e-mails, and going into it with very few preconceived notions was fun.  I'm sure I'll have dates that are awkward start to finish, but it's just a few hours, and at the least, it will help me figure out what I want and don't want.

I have a date Friday night with a different guy - we're meeting at the monuments and checking those out around dusk, which is my favorite time to see them.

This website has really made me realize that I don't like wine or hiking.  So many people suggest a wine tasting or a hike.  As the Wolcott-Leonard wedding party knows, I only consume hard alcohol (vodka in the purse!) and I only hike under the following conditions:

- having less than 4 hours of sleep the night before

- after enduring a 9 hour plane ride across 3 time zones

- having a 3 cocktail lunch complete with a GIANT Wilbur Burger

- wearing Old Navy 2/$5 rubber-soled flip flops that almost cause death numerous times since it's muddy and a narrow path

- eventually going barefoot since the flip flops get so slippery and cutting up my feet

- a waterfall must be somehow involved

- signs that lie so I think I have less to go than I do until it's too late to turn around (an absolute must)

- a majestic view

- the rest of the hiking party in very non-hiking clothes, including nice shoes, skirts, and boots who also had a heavy meal and multiple drinks

but as much as we suffered, Multnomah Falls was so worth it:

(Photo credit to Weibs[ies], whose picture I liked better than mine.)